I came across an interview with Seth Godin, the author of Linchpin.  I’ve really just come across it and so don’t have too much to say about it yet as I think it’s a longer conversation to be had and one that would make for an interesting chat on Creative Habit. 

On this week’s episode of CH we talk a bit about fear and how difficult it can be to take risks when afraid of being perceived as wrong, silly, or stupid.  Typically I don’t let it stop me, but I do suffer with this (along with the rest of the world).  I find it so interesting I’ve started doing some research and found something brilliant that I want to pass along.

Seth Godin has a great talk about what he calls “The Lizard Brain.”  The Lizard Brain is the part of the brain that takes over from the main part of the brain and offers resistance to whatever it is we’re trying to do.  When the “Lizard Brain” feels like it’s going to be laughed at, mocked, perceived as dumb, it throws up roadblocks (“I don’t have time to do this now”, “I have writer’s block”, “I need to lose weight first” etc. etc.)

Seth offers that if you can’t find a way to get beyond these roadblocks, you are on track to becoming mediocre, average, and trampled on (especially in this economy).  Pretty harsh.  But I think he’s right on.

The good news is: once you realize that EVERYONE has this problem…and I mean EVERYONE….he says you’ve solved 80% of the problem.  Your next job is not to REASON with the “Lizard Brain”, (because you can’t reason with it), but rather you SOOTHE this part of your brain, approaching it gently and give it time to come around.  The more you practice this, the easier it becomes.

An example in my life would be my auditioning skills.  I used to be deathly afraid of auditioning, to the point where my breath would go out the window, the nerves fluttered in my tummy and I would end up not getting the job.  I wasn’t NOT going to be an actor however, it was too important to me…and so I got older, got wiser, and got OVER it and now consider auditioning to be fun (okay, not all the time…sometimes it’s just a pain…)  In the process I’ve tamed the lizard.

I admit that a big part of taming the lizard had to do with having a child.  My priorities shifted and I no longer mind as much if I don’t get the role.  I am now able to put it in perspective, work on other ways of broadening my career and life and as a result I now I have other lizards to tame!

All fun stuff and extremely gratifying as I learn more about it.  Can’t wait to talk about it more on the next podcast!

Here is Seth Godin’s talk on The Lizard Brain.  Enjoy! 

You call yourself an artist?

I rarely call myself an artist.  I fear that it will be met with an eye roll.  “Ooooh…you’re an artist….”  I’m willing to admit this is a projection on my part.  I now realize that it goes farther than not being willing to call myself an artist.

But let me start with what I do call myself.

I do call myself an actress.

I even qualify it by saying “I’m a musical theater actress.”

 I do call myself a dancer. 

Despite the fact that I’m not a trained dancer I’ve been teaching dance for the past eleven years and so I feel confident saying that.

I do call myself a voice coach.

I’ve seen hundreds and hundreds of students, and pretty sure I know what I’m doing there.

I do not call myself a writer although I’ve written a musical that’s been produced twice.

I do not call myself a composer either, although I composed music in said musical.

I’ve just recently started calling myself a creative entrepreneur.  My passion is developing business, brand awareness and corporate creativity…I don’t love calling myself an entrepreneur, but it really explains what I do on Linkedin. 

I find that super interesting, don’t you?  At what point do you start to feel comfortable identifying yourself with what you really do all day long?

And why do I feel like by saying I’m an artist (which I have been since I stepped onto that stage when seven years old) people judge me?

I’ll think on that.  You think on that.  Get back to me if you figure it out….

Richard St John’s 8 Secrets of Successful People

On today’s episode of Creative Habit we discuss the ability or lack of ability to accept constructive criticism.  I give a very big and embarrassing lesson that I learned early on in my career that you’ll have to listen to because it’s a long an involved story! 

But that got me to thinking…What are the other secrets of success?  Are there secrets?  No.  No secrets…you just have to dig to find them within yourself.  I stumbled across a man named Richard St John who researched and interviewed successful people for five years.    Here they are with a few of my thoughts…(you know me…I like to give my opinion).

PASSION  

It’s easier to find success in something if you’re passionate about it.  It’s fun.  You might even do it despite being paid.  Many say, if you’re passionate enough, the money will follow.  That’s debatable.  I believe you have to be passionate and TALENTED.

WORK

Being passionate about something doesn’t mean that you don’t have to work your butt off to get there. Life is work.  Work can make you feel good.  Rest is better when you have worked to get there.

FOCUS

Put your energy towards a specific goal.  Anything too broad gets muddy and you can lose sight of where the success is to be had.

PERSIST

Keep trying.  Success is not created over night…and something I’ve had to tell myself lately…your life is not over after 30! or 40! 50! 60! (you get the idea).

IDEAS

You have to have a good idea.  It needs to be something that fulfills people’s needs.  Or you have to be better at making something than the next guy.  Doesn’t always have to be YOUR idea.

GOOD

You need to be an expert at what you do.  PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE.

PUSH

Successful people are disciplined.  They work, aren’t afraid of failure, always striving to succeed. Plus, they are full of confidence.  Except when they aren’t, and they don’t let it stop them.

SERVE

Successful people serve the world.  They are visionaries who help solve problems, invent the unimaginable.  They are not always working to make money, but to add value to lives.

I know what you’re thinking…Molly, you seem pretty happy.  I am a happy person, but would like to be the happiest I can possibly be. In today’s episode of Creative Habit we talk about choosing to be optimistic, making tiny decisions each moment of each day that will make others happier (resulting in making me/you/us happy) with Ruth Kaiser creator of Spontaneous Smiley.

Ruth and her “smiley captains” find happy faces in everyday objects, nature, garbage, nuts, bolts, what have you….here’s one for you…

How creative is that?   Ruth insists anyone can make the decision to work towards thinking about life in an optimistic way.  On my quest to find happiness in my daily life I’ve discovered daily habits that have the biggest impact on my daily happiness.

Move

Sounds obvious but it’s not.  I’m a person who thinks it’s not worth it if I can’t commit to a full-blown workout.  I’ve discovered on my happiness quest that if I only have time for a simple 15 minute run/walk it’s enough to deliver happiness.

Eat every 2 ½ – 3 hours

If I don’t allow my blood sugar levels to spike and fall, I am able to make good choices on my food intake.   This directly affects my happiness level at 4 PM as I’m wrapping up my day and also at 9 PM as I’m heading off to bed.

Do a little bit of work that makes money and a little bit of work for the soul

Everyday I have a responsibility to work (which is sometimes hard when on your own schedule) and a responsibility to create.  I feel so much better if I find a healthy balance of living in both worlds.  That means I may teach four voice lessons during the day and then go home and work on a blog post, a new song, or learn a new recipe.

If I have a bad day, I just start again the next.  It’s an ever evolving quest for happiness…try it…it is a choice!

This book is by the lady who wrote “French Women Don’t Get Fat”.  I also read that and it has a lot of great stuff to offer.  This book however details Mireille Guiliano’s business experience and how she went from a French School Girl to CEO of Veuve Clicquot (champagne) to a best selling author.  What I got most out of this book is that life is lived in stages.  I’ve always thought of myself as an actor, an instructor, and now this is not defining my life so much.  I’m now reaching out into the world of blogging, my new podcast etc and not quite sure where it might lead, but I’ve learned from this book that it’s great to embrace change and go with the flow.  You never know where something might lead.  She has wonderful business sense, and is considered  by  many to be “no nonsense”.  I didn’t really get that from her book, but I did find that she is straight forward, practical and doesn’t let emotion get in the way (which I sometimes do).  Now that I’m writing about it, I think I’ll back and read it again!  I’m at a loss for all the things you can learn from this book.  I think I’m most impressed that her success came from just doing it.  She was not an MBA graduate, she did not hold a degree in “Champagne marketing”, she was never an author before just becoming one.  I’m inspired by that and you can be too!

Doing it Zappos Style and Branding my family

After recently reading Tony Hsieh’s (CEO of Zappos) “Delivering Happiness” I realized the company’s “core values” match what I consider my families core values.  We’re not particularly religious, (and therefore going straight to hell) so, why not look to a shoe company like Zappos to shape my life?  Here are the first part of their core values and how I try to implement them into my own family (and my business for that matter).

1. Deliver Wow Through Service

I spend a lot of time delivering “Wow” through most of my community events.  That’s fairly easy- because I want to be judged in a good way.  BUT, my real job in life is to create “Wow” moments for my family, right?  They’re the ones I live for, so why not.  What’s “Wow through service” in a family situation?  Maybe it’s sitting down for play with your child with no distractions and letting them direct play for a whole hour.  Maybe a backyard picnic with all your teddy bears etc.  Maybe it’s fantastic sex with your partner on god forbid a TUESDAY NIGHT!

2. Embrace and Drive Change

Boy, this is been important in my life right now…I’ve stopped performing for, oh I don’t know, a year maybe.  In order to meet the needs of my body, my husbands heart, my son’s development, I need to change a bit.  I recently read a book (more on that later) that talks about living life in stages.  Certainly the needs of your marriage change over time, as do the needs of your child.  The more you are open in embracing change and also seek it out to better yourself through change, I believe the better off you’ll be.

3. Create Fun and a Little Weirdness

For sure!  This is one of our biggest core values and as my son gets older I think we’ll embrace it more.  Weirdness, being different, and being quirky, instills a sense of confidence.  Life does not need to be stuffy.  We have a little weird and quirky project we’ll be working on during our family vacation to Tahoe.  I’ll post that in a month or so!

4. Be Adventurous, Creative and Open-Minded

You get it.  This goes without saying.  If my parents had not been open-minded I wouldn’t have gone to a performing arts college (which shaped and changed the course of my life and also gave me a work ethic).  I hope, as my child gets older, that I will stay open-minded with his life.  I’ll go back and read this posting if I don’t.   I find that people have a hard time being creative with their lives…and hey I have a whole podcast that Daya Curley is producing around this!  Visit our podcast here!

5. Pursue Growth and Learning

I am much happier when I’m pursuing a goal or trying to learn something new.  My family benefits from this too.  Mainly because I’M MUCH HAPPIER.  Even if I’m not working on an important project, if I take the time to read a book, listen on tape, do an online class (lynda.com)  My family needs to do the same and what better way than to go to a school that has French 3 times a week!  Kurt and I met in French class in high school!  We will learn again with him…and start saving for a big trip to France in a couple years!!!

6. Build Open and Honest Relationships with Communication

This is something my dad taught me.  We talked about everything.  Well, I guess not everything.  I never told him when I went on birth control!  (He did find out….and wasn’t happy).  We did discuss our FEELINGS.  I think he maybe did this because he was never really allowed to discuss his feelings growing up.  As a result, my whole extended family has lots of open conversations and it certainly keeps things interesting and we’re always growing as a result.

More core values to come in the near future!

Yumm…tonight’s dinner was a slam dunk.  Ryder helped me make the pizza’s.  I used whole wheat pizza dough from Whole Foods for Ryder and Kurt.  I used a brown rice crust for me, also from Whole Foods and found in the freezer aisle.  Drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with heirloom tomatoes and mozzarella for the dairy folk and Daiya cheese for me.

We had a little bit of chicken chili on the side (from a can) and my absolute favorite vegetable…OKRA!

Okra takes me right back to Luby’s Cafeteria in Texas.  Of course, that’s fried Okra and it’s super good because it’s fried in lard….so I do a healthy version that my mom taught me.

Take the okra, cut up into small pieces, coat okra with egg and then dip lightly in corn meal. Lightly fry in olive oil for about five minutes.  Kids love this too!

Anyway, no woe is me…because I do feel better.  I’m much less sick, less bloated, I just feel better, less inflamed all over my body (my biggest problem it seems).  I certainly cheat.  It’s hard to explain all my dietary needs at a dinner party.  Oh did I mention no wine?  No mommy juice…which I cheat on the most, having a glass or two a week.

Onto the snacks I made today that I thought might be helpful for some.

I find that many things taste heartier warmed up…so cut up an apple and spread a little bit of Earth Balance “butter”, next sprinkle a tiny bit of vanilla extract, a tiny bit of xlitol sugar, and a tiny bit of cinnamon on top.  Then, put in the microwave for a minute and 1/2.  D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S!

Some snacky foods you can use for the yeast free diet

That wasn’t enough for me!  I was hungry.  So I took some black bean chips and some Daiya “cheese”, (soy free) sprinkled the “cheese” on top and microwaved for 1 minute.

Complete it with a Zevia root beer soda, made with carbonated water, erythritol, and stevia extract and you’ve got a Molly snack.

I tend to eat like a child- so this snack is great for kids too.  The only thing is these particular chips are a tiny spicy so my son wouldn’t like them.  I’ll look into a substitute that’s yeast free.

BTW, I have found some super helpful websites

http://www.healthfulpursuit.com

and

http://spoonfulofsugarfree.com